Okay, so. I was at the dance tonight and started thinking. Not sure how I started thinking about this, but... I started typing it into my phone. (I had a pencil, but no paper!) It's two notes and three tasks. xD;; So let's get this out so I can delete it from my cell's memory, 'k? This is word for word from the cell, so it's pretty brief and kinda jumps around. I might say some more after.
So... yeah. Most of it is self-explanitory. But some of it isn't. :P "Because it doesn't seem to make much sense to continue going if you do NOT feel of worth. Pessimism? Make yourself of worth, but..." What I mean by that is, if you don't feel like your life is doing any good, it isn't much motivation to continue living. It just makes sense. I ask "Pessimism?" in case that's just negative thinking to be disregarded and discarded. "Make yourself of worth" comes from a personal epiphany. I decided one day that instead of sulking and questioning, you'd go and make your own fate. For example, say you're considering whether or not to go to a dance and don't feel that good about it. You may think "No one will probably care that I'm there." Instead of wondering if that is true, decide to MAKE someone care. Brighten someone's night so that you DO make a difference. It's so much more productive than wondering.
The rest is pretty self-summarizing... Most every human feels the need to be significant, to be wanted, to be loved, to be cared for... But when they aren't feeling that way, and want to, what are they to do? While you're able to decide to make a difference, you can't exactly decide to make someone love you. That just gets too complicated and I doubt it would end well. So are they supposed to be strong and go it alone? I can see how that would work in many situations, if one has enough strength and courage, but... one does not always have that. There will come a time when I'll be rendered into a complete mess, unable to do anything for myself. How then am I expected to be strong while being alone?
That's why I ask... Where's the line that marks the difference? When is it nothing-but-destructive to depend on another? (Obviously it is possible to depend on someone and still have a healthy relationship and mental/emotional status, but as I've said, one day I won't be able to stand without them.) And when is it justified for me to temporarily stop trying, to take a break? When is it justified for me to fall, and let them catch me?
There's my ramblings and thoughts. Now, I am currently exhausted, so now that I've gotten that typed and posted, I am going to collapse on my bed. xD
...after I pick out what to wear to church tomorrow. Argh. xD
"Thoughts on what's okay. It's not really healthy to depend entirely on another for your happiness, that much is certain. But how possible is it to be entirely emotionally self-sufficient? Surely wanting to feel special happens to everyone. Is that okay? Because it doesn't seem to make much sense to continue going if you do NOT feel of worth. Pessimism? Make yourself of worth, but... how bad can things get before it is understandable that I want someone? How bad before I am allowed to depend on another? We are not meant to be alone. But what happens when we are? Are we supposed to seek out help from another? Or are we expected to go it alone as best we can, and simply hope that someone will come?"
So... yeah. Most of it is self-explanitory. But some of it isn't. :P "Because it doesn't seem to make much sense to continue going if you do NOT feel of worth. Pessimism? Make yourself of worth, but..." What I mean by that is, if you don't feel like your life is doing any good, it isn't much motivation to continue living. It just makes sense. I ask "Pessimism?" in case that's just negative thinking to be disregarded and discarded. "Make yourself of worth" comes from a personal epiphany. I decided one day that instead of sulking and questioning, you'd go and make your own fate. For example, say you're considering whether or not to go to a dance and don't feel that good about it. You may think "No one will probably care that I'm there." Instead of wondering if that is true, decide to MAKE someone care. Brighten someone's night so that you DO make a difference. It's so much more productive than wondering.
The rest is pretty self-summarizing... Most every human feels the need to be significant, to be wanted, to be loved, to be cared for... But when they aren't feeling that way, and want to, what are they to do? While you're able to decide to make a difference, you can't exactly decide to make someone love you. That just gets too complicated and I doubt it would end well. So are they supposed to be strong and go it alone? I can see how that would work in many situations, if one has enough strength and courage, but... one does not always have that. There will come a time when I'll be rendered into a complete mess, unable to do anything for myself. How then am I expected to be strong while being alone?
That's why I ask... Where's the line that marks the difference? When is it nothing-but-destructive to depend on another? (Obviously it is possible to depend on someone and still have a healthy relationship and mental/emotional status, but as I've said, one day I won't be able to stand without them.) And when is it justified for me to temporarily stop trying, to take a break? When is it justified for me to fall, and let them catch me?
There's my ramblings and thoughts. Now, I am currently exhausted, so now that I've gotten that typed and posted, I am going to collapse on my bed. xD
...after I pick out what to wear to church tomorrow. Argh. xD
